Saying goodbye to the blue star

Sirius, about 600 Earth years ago: I’m walking on the beach, enjoying the soft breeze that comes from the sea and touches the side of my face. Suddenly I feel unease as I feel an unwelcome presence near me. At first I think I must have made a mistake, because nobody is around. But when I turn around I realize that a reptilian is behind me, a menacing look in his vertically pupilled yellow eyes as he speeds towards me. I must have heard his footsteps before realizing he was there and that's why I'd become nervous. It is the same species that invaded Lyra back when the Orion Wars started. I was in my first incarnation as a humanoid in the 3^rd density then. I was one of them, one of the invaders. I realize now how hideous we were, how cruel and rootless. I also remember how none of those words made any sense back then. It was only power over others that mattered to us, power and destruction. Recognizing the species that the reptilian belonged to led into another realization; that the being that was pursuing me could have only one purpose: my destruction. I did not waste any time wondering about the reason why, I knew already that there was no reason, it was not needed. If anything, it would be the mere joy of seeing another being fading out of existence. That would be enough. Any other goal would be secondary. I start running, he runs too. I don’t dare to look back, but I hear his footsteps as he chases me. And then he gets close enough for me to hear his breathing. He reaches me, grabs me on the neck and drags me into a cave. He then picks a stone as he pushes me towards a rock. Then he pushes me down so that the side of my head is on the rock. He then smashes my head with the stone. I hear my skull crushing. I’m going to die in this cave, I think to myself. The last thing I see is him taking a flask out of his robes, as he opens it and brings it near to my head. I then realize a silver, foggy substance coming out of my head. It is foggy and ghost-like in nature but it also gives out light, as if smoke and light are mixed together. He then bottles it. With that everything gets dark. Whatever the substance was, with it being gone I lose my sight. I want to scream, but I can’t. Soon I realize the thoughts in my head are getting foggy and start to fade away. A paralyzing horror covers my whole being as I realize what is happening. It was my soul that was crushed out of me. He was taking my soul. In a flask. I hardly can think anymore, I’m losing my memories, the power to think, even my pain. I’m not dying, I’m fading into nothingness. 

I wake up panting and sweating. My life companion is still asleep, but he seems restless as well. I must have disturbed his sleep with my own restlessness. This is happening almost every night now. I know I have to do something. What is the matter with me? Nobody has seen those reptilians for thousands of years, so why suddenly they are appearing in my dreams?

I start the day with headache. When I come home, a message ball is waiting for me on the table. I grab it in my hand and close my eyes as I hear the voice of my companion in my head.

Dearest, I don’t know if you have noticed, but you have been dreaming pretty loudly recently. Forgive me, I did not mean to eavesdrop. But you don’t have much choice when you are suspended in that zone between wakefulness and sleep, as you know. I heard you repeatedly calling out for your soul. What is it about your soul that has troubled you love? Do you think you want to talk about it? It does help sometimes. You also mentioned “Earth” several times. Have you simply being missing Earth? I know it’s been a long time since you have incarnated there. Are you thinking of leaving Sirius? If yes, why haven't you said anything? I hope it is not because you are planning to leave me. Forgive me if I sound as if I'm doubting you, but I’ve been wondering and had to consider multiple cases, and this was one of them, and one that I simply could not ignore. In any case, I think I deserve to know if you are thinking of making a major change in our lives.

I’m taking a walk on the beach, because I want to make sure I’m centered in my heart when we talk, where no fear or ego would interfere. I’ll see you soon.

How could I be so stupid? I’ve been dreaming that my head gets smashed against a rock and my soul stolen and bottled! Of course he would hear my thoughts when I was feeling so vulnerable and exposed. What was I thinking trying to hide it from him? Now he’s thinking I’m going to leave him without even saying a word. This is what I do all the time, and apparently I never learn. I ignore an issue so long that it leads into a bigger problem, and then I just let it grow to the point that it becomes bigger than the life itself. Not this time. I am going to get to the bottom of this. I know what’s wrong, and I know what I have to do.

He’s home. I breath deeply as I walk towards the window were he is waiting for me to join him.

I start with a short apology and then I ask how he could be so stupid thinking that I was going to ghost him. Doesn’t he know me by now, after being together for seven and a half lifetimes? At first I'm consumed by guilt, but after giving that speech I’m genuinely annoyed. How could he have such little faith in me? 
He starts apologizing, looking embarrassed. That brings me back to feeling guilty again. Seriously what's wrong with me? As if putting him through all that torment was not enough. I congratulate myself mentally for being such a lousy companion.

That's enough, I think to myself. Let's fix this right now.

I put my hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him and at the same time I gesture to him to sit down, and then I start talking again, and this time much more calmly.

-All right, let’s put apologies and guilt behind us. I’m not leaving you, in fact, the thought has not even passed through my mind. So that’s that. And as to why I’m having these nightmares, I’ve been thinking and meditating about it, and I’m pretty sure the reason is that I’ve been in my comfort zone for too long. I love Sirius, it has become my home. I don’t ever want to leave it, but if I don’t my soul will be petrified. I’m becoming numb in here, and those dreams are warning me of that. I think the best place for me right now is Earth, as you have heard me saying that in my dreams. Another reason is the events that are going to take place on Earth through the next incarnation cycles. The power struggles and the darkness that is increasing constantly there makes it to be the best soul school in the whole universe. But it is not going to be easy, not in the slightest. And that is exactly why I did not dare to tell you about it. I can’t bear the thought of dragging you there in such troubled times, and it’s only going to get worse.

He's been silent until now, but then he gestures me to stop as he starts talking himself.

- Dragging me? You can't be serious. I'm not a child, so please don’t worry about dragging me anywhere. Besides, I’ve been thinking about Earth myself. And we are not the only ones, many are thinking about going there these days.

That's news to me. My impression was that most people are trying to avoid Earth these days. But I don't care about most people. I care about him.

-But you’re fine; you’re enjoying life here. How can I live with myself changing it for you? I do feel like I’m petrifying, but I don’t see anything that indicates you are feeling the same. It’s not you having nightmares about your skull being crushed and your soul being stolen and bottled! Why should you make such a big change in your life when it is me who is in trouble? I don’t want to change your life when you are enjoying it!

-That’s what you've been dreaming? That’s horrible! Why didn’t you say anything?

-Because it terrified me, I thought it would go away if I just ignored it. I was even afraid that it would be contagious, that you would start having those dreams and feeling your soul petrifying like I do. 

-You’re right about me not feeling like that yet, but it could be because I’m not as sensitive as you are. That’s one of the things I love about being with you, you keep me alert about my soul growth. But it’s not the only reason I want to start a cycle on Earth. I want to participate in the coming changes and events there. I want to play a role in the power struggles and find my way out through the darkness that is going to swallow Earth and its incarnated souls. I don’t think there has been any other place in the history of the universe where anyone could grow as much as it is possible on Erath right now. I don’t want to lose this chance.

-So you think we should go?

-I definitely do.

***

With that, we started planning for our journey. First we had to sign a soul contract with the incarnation department, acknowledging that our departure from Sirius and starting a new incarnation cycle was our own plan. Then we would take care of our belongings, basically giving them to our friends and relatives to use them while we are gone. Then all we had to do was to get out of our bodies and cut the cords. And that’s exactly what we did.